As they say, things happen for a reason
from the smallest things in life to the biggest
some are filled with happiness,
some with sadness and misery
and some with confusion
confusion on whether or not the things you're experiencing are the real deal
whether things you're putting hope on can blossom like a flower in spring time
full of vibrant colours and warm feelings
or come crashing down like a storm during a rainy night
full of shades of grey with cold and a devoid of feelings

Everyday I keep thinking about this
thinking on why most of the time I just can't seem to get things the way I want it to be
or the fact that most things don't really happen like they should
sometimes to the point that I fully exhaust my entire mind
because I just can't find out the reasons behind it all
and end up being moody or sad at times
Even during times when I'm laughing or having fun or being happy
it's just a cover up for that confused head of mine
my true emotions
hidden from the eyes of my friends, family, relatives and all those who know me

The only time
the one and only time I show my true emotions,
my raw feelings
is when I'm in love,
only a precious few
have seen it
heard it
and felt it
but it always doesn't seem to last
as it always breaks off at some point
due to external reasons I can't quite tell
or don't quite understand

I just hope
that the future ahead of me
doesn't contain confusion
unanswered questions
or plastic feelings
but true emotions and life full of peace and love
and especially love

10:07 PM