Blogger's being a bitch again with the post creation page.
Can't edit how the text looks and arrange the lines.
But I'll post this post anyway.


There's a lot of things to think about whenever I think about myself and my life.
Hundreds of unanswered questions fill the somewhat cluttered subconscious of mine.
On some occasions, these questions do get answered in some way but only partly.
The rest of it just keeps me wondering.

Recently, I've been wondering whether or not I'm satisfied with myself about everything in my life.
The obvious answer is...

Well

An obvious No.

Pretty much everything in my life is screwed up in one way.
I can't pretty do things up to satisfaction these days.
Pretty fucked up about it whenever I try and try to do well.
On some occasions, yes, it works.
But most of the time, it doesn't.
The bad, unfortunately, outnumbers the good.
And I'm desperately trying to change that.

Even if it is looking bleak for me.
But, fuck it, I'm gonna try to make the best of what I've done so far.
And that's it.
That's all it


Another note.

There's some freaky resemblances whenever I think back of some of the past events that happened.
Especially this part about how I met some people who became, in some way, important in my life.

First of all, how I met Athirah is almost the same as how I met....

this is pretty hard on me to type it out, Norain.

How I met them both: Eye-contact, playful gesture

How I eventually got to know them: Both of them contacted me first. One through msn and the other through sms

I'm not gonna go through the details on how I got together with Norain but I will tell you that somehow, both of them had an impact on my life.
Pretty crappy things happened but some good things happened as well.

But the situation is a bit when it comes to Athirah.

She's..... different in some ways that I can't express.
She wows me with her amazing use of words that I can't even match.
She has a great personality from what I've experienced so far, vivacious if I say so myself (vivacious..... Shit, that reminds me of...)
And oh yes, she is pretty.

But I'm not talking about that.

No No No

What I'm talking about is why am I so drastically affected (both negative and positive)when I have tingling sensation for both of them?

And Athirah's not even my girlfriend.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Did something click on whenever I'm in love?

Why does shit always happen whenever that happens?

Can't I have at least a prolonged peace and happiness whenever I have that feeling?

Is someone preventing me from having such feelings?

So.

Many.

Unanswered.

Questions.
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